Macy Mu

I was always a trouble girl as in the way how I grown up. I have always been informed about this.

But just shocked myself by finding out how contradictory a person I am.

 

I deeply loved my parents so much since they are the only ppl that i can always go for and would never back off me. I got so much love for them but I never told them in a direct way. all what i ever told my mom was how much i hate about the way she speaks to me when she was expecting me to obay her "orders". I felt so sorry about many things to my parents. just failed to let the words out every sigle time. I am stubborn.

 

The bad thing came out to be that my personality is genetic. my this refractory character is absolutely presented by heredity from my mom.

I tried my best to understand her. she had always been a very stonger person, a powerful woman that eveyone listened to her in my family, followed her words in her company and in her every aspect of life. I found it is a very effecient way to get it solved by thinking from others' stand when something seemed hard to be understood for you. I never let her know thatI had forced myself this attempt either.

 

I can see how much my mom tried to change her "conservative" ideas b/c of me; I can feel how hard my parents are trying just to give me a brighter future; I can understand how pure-hearted they are to wish their daughter a healthy happy life. To me, they are the only ones have supported me through out all my ups and downs in my life. they are always there, ready to give me a warm family where I can find protection and help when I messed up w/ sth. I do feel how much they love me, and I am crystal cleared about a lot more.

 

As I always tell others, I am 100 percent a pure Aquiarius --- You know much about yourself and the world, but knowing everything can be an obstacle to your own happiness.  I'll take w/e good and bad as being an Aquarius --- yes weirdest; yes freaky, very much; yes uncatchable as well aloof and proud.  

 

I'm not always optimistic, actually i pretty much am a pessimistic one. although those who do not know me that well think I love to laugh and smile. or maybe i got used to hide the dark side of myself. 

 

"Aquarius can seem somewhat detached from personal emotions. It's not that you Aquarius don't have feelings; it's just that yours are different from most others. You dance to the beat of a different drummer."

 

I'm an Aquiarius, I got all the characteristics, goods and bads, that comes as being an Aquarius.

I'm 21, i feel so lucky that to some extent m young and I'm still learning, about everything, from every aspect in my life. I still got  a long way to go, got a lot to learn to improve on.

But I am who I am, I accept  where im at in life right now. My mom always advise i'm too young to be doing all these things that im dealing w/, and that's the reason why I got these problems and troubles I dont have to take. I can easily avoid all those by taking less responsibilities and being a lil more selfish. but she has no idea how i came to be this way in these three yrs away from her protection. 

 

I have no regrets. Im not ashamed about who I am and what I had done. my past has made me a stronger person. some say im too young to be talking about experience and life. who can claim himself to be an experienced w/o past experiences. If I messed something up, I'll fix it, I'll take all the blame and w/e the consequence comes out to be. I'll learn from all these life lessons.

I can't be a mommy's girl forever, althrough I never actually was

 

I have a flimsy completism orientation. yes, m a impure completist.

 

I love flowers, madly. Lavender, rose, bloomingdale and w/e dazzling. but no flower that never fades. as time passes by, they languishes slightly. blooms to me is just like girls to guys. I dont wanna see the moment it loss its shine.

 

I love extreme colors, black n' white. but  i also have a lot things in any partern of pink. thats a weird match.

 

I can be a vegetarian for quite a long time. sometimes i just wish i can finish a whole cow.

 

I am absolutely a collectionholic. you can easily tell how much I am by informing how long that took me to collect all the Anna Sui perfume. 

 

I can really spend days listing out all my contradictory points as being a pure Aquarius.

 

I guess that's the route how I've come to the point in my life where I'm living at this moment. m not trying to change anything about myself. everyone judges, I understand. but  if you want to get to know me, plz leave all your judgements aside at this point. if anything really clashed w/ ur principles, I do give you options---either accept what im look like or distance away .

 

I have no idea why these cynical thoughts flows out like water at 4:00 am when im supposed to be night dreaming w/ my mom. its such a peaceful night, wut the heck is wrong w/ me???

I hate to say this, but I still have to admit that I learned nothing about it through the entire thing after all these years but getting further away from being myself.

let me be whoever whatever I am suppose to be.

is this really that hard to achieve like a dream or sth?

I seldom had a dream.

neither on this, it's just maybe somehow my next target to work on to in line.

Dream v.s Target feels the same way as Power v.s Authority.

finally got bk hm after a impressive flight experience. or I should say it as an agressive one?

thanks to the gorgeous flight schedual, there's only one direct flight from Li Jiang to Beijing departs at 6 in the early morning everyday, we took a one stop flight transferring in Kun Ming.

the first part was really a short trip from Li Jiang to Kun Ming which took only a lil more than 30 mintues. 30 sth minutes for a flight journey is like nothing, not even enough for a nap! to be exaggerated, when about to take off, it landed.

for this time, it wasnt b/c of the limited time made me not falling asleep although I was really exausted from all the travelling. it was one of the the smallest air craft I ve been on, meanwhile, it was the first time ever in my life I felt how imortant that is to have my seat belt fastened during my flight trip~!

there was a split second I felt the seat and my ass was indeed apart! w/o the seat belt, I must have reached the set-top! I rather to believe I had finished this special 30-minute long trip on a tractor if i were blinded since the flight was bounced along all the way as hell. maybe it was due to the small size of the plane and the strong air current flowing over the craft...who knows.

I wont say I was scared. I was not to be honest. just subconsciously my heart started palpitating faster and ascending up to my throat. I believe I was definately one of the most peaceful ppl who did not over reacting. nobody can do nothing by scraming inexplicably.

there was one second, a question bumped into my mind which got me thinking a lot and frustrated me out after afterwards.

"what would u do if today is the last day u were above ground?"

I listed  all those I want-to-do, need-to-do and have-to-do  but havent-yet-achieved things down in my mind. I was totally defenseless to accept such a freaking long to-do-list! out of my expection, I could finish a whole role of toilet paper if typing in Times New Roman w/ front size No.5 ! 

I should thank to this half an hr, the first time ever I realized so much things need to be done asap. so much words better to be spoken b4 its too late. although it will never be too late to let those who cares about you know how much they weight in your mind and how much u love them.

I believe for a thousand of times I had said this to you. just in case u forgot about it or might not belive in wut I told u, I love you, always will always been. 

everything can possibly happen in a split second. if sth happened, it happened; if someone changed, he changed. i guess i counldnt do much about it, neither do i know wut to do. but there's always one and the only one thing i know i could do about.

to cherish.  to cherish every minute I am spending here and there impressed me w/; to cherish everyone is around me and the one m being w/; to cherish w/e I am occupying...

离开泸沽湖的第二天，天降暴雨，所有尚未离开的旅客被困在泸沽湖无法离开。

原定参观虎跳峡的行程时间被提前，去往那里的一段盘山公路在原行程日期当天发生滑坡，一客车因躲闪滚落下的山石坠落山谷，全车20名旅客，16人死亡。我们又逃过一劫。

大难不死，必有后福。

不求会有后福，只愿所有人正在经历的每一秒都平安快乐.